Preface

I can feel the warm sun beating down on my face. Its light shining threw a peak in the curtain from the only window in my little room. My left hand tightened around the tiny bottle enclosed in it. This morning felt no different then the others. You could run from the pain, try to fight it, but it would keep coming back. Until you found a way to escape it completely; It would always be there, waiting in the shadows, more then willing to pull you back into that bottom less pit of never ending, never ceasing pain.

So it was time. Time for me to make that final jump. That would either weigh me down, pulling me further, and further into the darkness- or it would show me the light at the end of it all that I've been desperately searching for. I laid there weighing my options. When I opened my eyes it was like there was that pull again. Pulling my entire focus to the bottle in my left hand. I sat up desperately twisting off the cap and pouring the contense into my hand. Ah. Thirty-seven. They were all there, safe and sound. This would be more then enough to escape the black hole that ate at the core of my existence. I couldn't stop myself from grinning.
This will be the day, I promised myself. This will be the day. This will be the day.

I shook off the blankets and got up from my mattress that lay in the corner of my room on the floor. Forcing myself to the bathroom. The cracked mirror above the sink soon became my worst nightmare. There I stood. As helpless as ever; with my plain features looking back at me. My once beautiful, dark-brown hair, lay matted and all over the place. There was no emotion left in my dark blue eyes that had once been full of life, full of dreams, full of hope. All of those emotions left my eyes a long time ago.

Three years to be exact, I was fifteen at the time. When some drunk driver ran a red light and took the life of the one person I cared about. My mom, Lucy Harrison. She was always hopeful, even when things looked like they we were headed back down to rock bottom. Always looking at the positive side of things; neglecting the negatives.

I had her features. From her face, to her stubby ankles. She was brilliant, even for a blond. We never had much when it came to money, just this ratty house that had been paid off by my father before he left us. And her car. But, we had each other. And that was more then enough to get us through the day.